What do you get

So, it's 130 in the morning, and I'm typing a follow up post. Bah, get ready for some nonsensical shit coming out.

I left off with the question,"What benefits do you get for being the nice guy?"

None. Nothing of immediate value.

I tell my younger friends, who I see are in the same position I had been in at their age, to not fret. They show girls how to drive, or help them with homework, take their time that they could spend doing things for themselves and use it on that special lady.

And then she says "You're such a good friend!" And leave.
He turns around and tries to cut himself with a go-gurt.

Oh, the awkward early teen years. I miss them. Only because I could play Mortal Kombat and still be intrigued.

Yet, I digress.

What are the benefits? I'll tell you.

1. You get to be the fallback. Not like, the fallback rebound boyfriend that gets used to get back at a shitty ex, and then the ex beats the shit out of YOU, alongside his football friends and golf friends and faculty friends. Fallback as in, you help her come back from her problems, and you get to hear every, single example of a bad boyfriend. A bad guy. And take notes.
Oh, take note.
Because, this leads to step 2.

2. Later in life you will win!
Yeah, I'm still not at that point. It's mostly when you turn 25, and everyone outgrows their "Badass" desire/phase.

I always believe in Karma. I don't believe in it, from a religious aspect, but I think that the natural divinity of the university, and the fact that chaos has a form, that those who allow the positive to envelop them, will eventually win out.
Of course, saying that chaos has structure, when the definition of chaos....nvm. Just beliefs, and beliefs need no logic.

So, how does rule 2 and 1 intertwine?

Here's what I believe: If you are that nice guy, and struggle through the hardships and the torrents of anguish that you will stumble and crash upon the fallen, shattered glass of your own broken heart, well, you'll find that in the end, the ones that matter will appreciate your kindness to the utmost extent.

That's what I keep telling myself.

That's why I trudge on, withstanding the hardships and blows to the midsection. The metaphorical blunt objects to the back of the head in the study by Ms. Xxxxxxx Xxxxx.
Because I believe that my resolve to stay a nice guy, will pay off, somewhere.

I still smile to strangers, give my coat to a friend that's cold, buy lunch for a friend that might not be able to afford it. And none of those things will ever get me a monetary or tangible object. It won't get me anything. Maybe, even, I'll get a cold shoulder from the stranger, or a non-thank you from the friend, or even a lack of appreciation by the friend that could afford the lunch.

But in the end, it doesn't bother me.

Because I tried. And if I try, it gives me self-appreciation, which is sufficient enough to continue on in this life, and beat on, sails against the sea, waiting for the end that waits for me.